


Bared

by walkalittleline



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caduceus is hung and doesn’t know what that means change my mind, M/M, Masturbation, it’s Caduceus he’s the one doing it, rating is for chapter 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-14 01:51:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17499320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walkalittleline/pseuds/walkalittleline
Summary: The Mighty Nein take a much needed trip to the bathhouse before departing Nicodranas.





	1. Chapter 1

Jester insists upon all of them taking a trip to the bathhouse the moment they make port in Nicodranas—"we haven't had a real bath in  _weeks, C_ aleb isn't the only stinky one now"—and is even more persistent about the suggestion when Caduceus mentions in passing, over Caleb's grumbled protests about his cleanliness, that he's never been to one before.  

They settle their things at the Chateau before setting off down the street towards one of the more luxurious establishments with Jester's mother's blessing of free attendance. The building is one of lavishly gilded marble, deep red and purple silks draped around the interior as Caduceus ducks through the entry, trailing slightly behind the rest of the group to peer around at the decor.

"Fancy, huh?" Beau mutters, nudging him with her elbow as Jester speaks to the front desk attendant, a young human man with dark skin who looks slightly overwhelmed by their sudden presence. 

"It's nice," Caduceus responds with a nod, trailing his fingers lightly over one of the silks, watching it flow over his fingers like water. 

"Molly would have loved it here," Beau says with a sad sigh. "He was all about this gaudy shit."

Caduceus hums in response. He's never quite sure how to respond when one of them brings up Molly, not having known him beyond the tidbits he's gleaned from their brief mentions of him. 

"You'll like it," Beau soldiers on with a grin, "Plus you get to see everyone naked," she adds, expression turning salacious as she nudges him again.  

"Right," Caduceus says, nodding even though he's not exactly sure what she's inferring. 

They break off to change, Caduceus carefully bundling his clothes together to give to the attendant, who turns bright red as he accepts them, eyes flicking down briefly before he hurries out of the room. 

"Thank you," Caduceus calls after him with a frown before tucking a towel around his waist. It barely falls to mid-thigh. 

The rest of them are already in the bath when he enters the room, steam wafting up around him like a thin fog. They're all leaning up against the far wall of the bath, sunk up to their shoulders save Nott who is treading water and clinging to the edge of the tub fearfully.

"Caduceus!" Beau calls gleefully as he enters, raising a hand in greeting. "Come sit next to me." She pats the water next to her, indicating the empty spot between her and Caleb, who is slumped down in the water to his chin.

Caduceus smiles and discards his towel before lowering one foot gingerly into the water. 

"Holy fucking shit," he hears Fjord mutter as Beau cackles loudly.

Caduceus glances up at them in confusion, pausing where he's halfway down the stairs into the bath, the water up to his calves.

"Dude," Beau says, smirking and sounding vaguely impressed. "No wonder you're a virgin." 

"I beg your pardon?" Caduceus says, sure he misheard her. 

"That one is pretty good," Jester says thoughtfully. "Maybe better than Molly's."

Caduceus glances around at them in confusion, Nott rolling her eyes and making a faint noise of disapproval.

"What Jester is trying to say," Fjord says, clearing his throat and frowning somewhere over Caduceus' head. "Is that, um—“

"That you're hung like a literal horse," Beau interjects gleefully, gesturing to Caduceus' crotch. "I mean I'm not even into dicks and I still gotta admit that is impressive."

Caduceus glances down at where his penis is laying limp against his leg.

"Oh," he says, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "Is that...um..."

"It's okay, Caduceus," Jester says kindly, reaching out to pat his leg. "There are lots of people who are really into that sort of thing."

There's a faint splash as Caleb sinks further into the water so only the top of his head is visible.  

"Right," Caduceus mutters, finally sinking down into the water fully next to Beau. It only reaches to the middle of his chest.

"Speaking of," Beau says, looking up at him and frowning. "What  _are_  you into?"

Fjord groans quietly on Beau's other side, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"What do you mean?" Caduceus asks, eyes flicking to Caleb where he is only visible from the eyes up, the tips of his ears bright red in the heat of the room. 

"Like are you into chicks? Or dudes? Or both, or neither, what?" Beau says, giving him a searching look. "Cause I feel like you need to come with a warning label for that thing."

"I don't... I'm not sure what you mean," Caduceus says, blinking in confusion.

Jester coos and smiles at him in an almost matronly way as Beau continues.

"I mean," Beau says impatiently. "What gets you off?"

"Gets me... off?" Caduceus says, feeling more and more confused by the second. “Off what?”

"Wow, so not even that, huh?" Beau says. She squints in thought for a moment before saying, "Okay, who are you attracted to?"

"What kind of person do you think of," Jester interjects more kindly, leaning forward to look at him from where she's sitting next to Fjord, "when you think about who you want to hug or kiss or—"

"Or bone," Beau says bluntly. 

"Oh," Caduceus says, frowning. "I, um... I guess I've never really thought about it." He tries to imagine kissing someone, feeling his face grow warm when a familiar face pops into his head. He forces himself not to look at Caleb and swallows hard. "Um, men, I suppose."

"Knew it," Beau says, leaning back and looking smug.

There's a sudden splash as Caleb resurfaces, coughing hard and doubling over in his seat.

"Are you okay, Mr. Caleb?" Caduceus says, latching onto the excuse to change the subject. He lays his hand on Caleb's back, withdrawing it quickly when the man jumps.

"I am fine," Caleb wheezes even as he slaps his hand to his chest and coughs up more water. He stands up quickly and moves to climb out of the bath, mumbling something about getting some air as he wraps a towel around himself.

There are a few moments of silence before Beau turns to Caduceus again, smirking faintly.

"So are you a top or a bottom?" she says, Fjord sighing and gripping his head in his hands next to her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really just wanted to write this after I wrote the last bit.

They return back to the Chateau a few hours later, relaxed and slightly pruned from the bath. Caduceus hangs back slightly from the rest of them, still ruminating on the conversation they'd had when he'd first got into the bath. Fjord had managed to get Beau to change the subject, shifting instead to the mage's tower they were hoping to take a look at the following day. Caleb had returned a few minutes after leaving, sinking back down into the water to his chin and ignoring the rest of them while they postulated about how to gain entry to the tower. 

He's been considering Jester's words, turning the thought over in his head about what type of person he would want to kiss—or more—and finding his eyes consistently wandering to where Caleb is walking a few steps ahead, hands in his pockets and shoulders slumped.

Before he can think further on the subject, they're stepping back into the lower level of the Chateau. Beau, Jester, Nott, and Fjord decide to stay downstairs for a drink while Yasha heads to the room the girls are sharing and Caleb slouches to the corner and pulls out his spellbook to start transcribing. 

"I think I'm heading to bed," Caduceus says, smiling apologetically when Jester makes a disappointed noise. "It's just been a long couple of weeks and I could use a rest in a bed that's not moving."

As the others move to the bar to order drinks, Jester steps up to his side and gestures him to lean down so she can speak to him.

"I'm sorry about earlier," she says guiltily. "About what Beau and I said. I didn't realize you didn't have any experience with it, we were just teasing."

"It's okay," Caduceus says, patting her on the shoulder reassuringly. "You've actually given me a lot to think about."

"Oh?" Jester says, brightening as a mischievous grin spreads across her face. "Are you going upstairs to _think_  about it now?" She winks and nudges him suggestively. "I'll make sure Fjord and Caleb stay down here," she adds in a loud whisper.

Caduceus is about to tell her there's no need but thinks better of it. He's not sure what she thinks he's going to be doing but that's not a rabbit hole he's interested in going down right now.

"I appreciate it," he says, smiling.

Jester giggles and gives him a brief sideways hug—her head barely reaches the middle of his chest—before all but skipping off to the bar to join the others.

Caduceus glances briefly at Caleb where he's sitting alone in the corner, head bowed low over his spellbook and a sheaf of parchment, scribbling something down. Something warm and fond blooms in his chest and he feels himself smiling almost automatically. He ducks his head, face growing warm, and makes his way upstairs to the room he's sharing with Fjord and Caleb. 

He pulls off his armor and boots, setting them in the corner with his staff and bags, before laying down on his back on the large bed dominating the room. Staring up at the ceiling, he lets his mind drift back to the discussion in the bathhouse.  

He knows he's inexperienced in things like romance and sex, especially in comparison to some of the others in their little group. He’s never even considered the idea of kissing someone, much less done it, though he thinks part of the reason could be that he'd grown up surrounded by no one but his own family and mourners coming to the temple to bury their loved ones. While he didn't have a lonely upbringing, he'd also never had the type of friends he's found in the rest of the Mighty Nein.

The image of Caleb's face springs to his mind again and he smiles. He is quite handsome, with his bright blue eyes and strong chin beneath the scruffy beard. The way he smells like earth and incense always relaxes Caduceus when he's feeling overwhelmed. He wonders what it would be like to bury his face in Caleb's neck and just breathe in the smell of him, to wrap his arms around Caleb’s waist and feel his warm weight pressed against him. He flushes darker at the thought and lets out a little whine of embarrassment, covering his face with his hands.

Closing his eyes, his thoughts wander to what Beau had said and he let's one hand trail cautiously down his stomach. He pauses, worrying his lip between his teeth, before squeezing his eyes shut tighter like he's preparing himself for impact and running his hand lightly over the front of his trousers. 

The touch is featherlight but he still feels something unfamiliar stir low in his gut. He presses his fingers down a little harder and exhales shakily as pleasure shivers down his spine. He can feel his flesh hardening under his fingers and he forces his eyes open to look down, marveling at the growing bulge under his palm. Shaping his fingers over himself, he rubs his hand down the full length, hips canting up automatically as he strains against the fabric of his trousers.

He wets his lip, tucking the lower one between his teeth as he loosens the drawstring on his trousers, sighing quietly at the release of pressure. The sound turns to a quiet whimper as he slides his hand below the fabric to touch himself directly. He shudders at the coolness of his fingers brushing against the head of his penis, slightly damp at the tip.

Wrapping his fingers lightly around himself, he strokes them up experimentally, groaning as his thumb grazes the head and spreads the beading liquid across his skin. His heart is beating hummingbird fast in his chest, his breath shaky between his lips as he rocks his hips up to meet his hand. He presses his lips together hard and whines high in his throat, eyes fluttering shut and rolling back at the sensation. 

There's something hot and roiling low in his belly like nothing he's ever felt before and he wants to chase it, see where it leads and fill himself up with it. He winces when the dry friction starts to pinch and pauses to reach his hand up, licking it sloppily a few times before wrapping it around himself again. He groans at the slick glide of his fist and Jester's words from earlier filter sluggishly through his brain and he screws his eyes shut tighter, brow furrowing as he tries to split his concentration between the staccato movement of his hand and conjuring up the image of kissing someone, kissing Caleb, in his brain.

His mind immediately supplies Caleb, but a Caleb who is disheveled and debauched, cheeks flushed and hair pushed back from his face. Caduceus feels himself twitch in his grasp as his heart leaps at the image. Part of him feels a swoop of guilt in his stomach, but he tells himself he’ll acknowledge it later and lets himself enjoy the fantasy his brain has conjured. 

He imagines pulling Caleb against his chest, nosing against his neck and peppering it with kisses, running his tongue along the shell of Caleb’s ear before pressing their lips together. Even the thought of it makes warmth spread in his chest. He wants to press Caleb down into the bed and run his fingers over every inch of him, to get drunk off his scent, to kiss him until he realizes how wonderful he really is.

He can feel something coiling in his stomach and he turns his face into his pillow to muffle a low groan. His whole body is trembling, his hand barely maintaining its uneven strokes and his breath coming in shaky gasps between his lips.

“ _Caleb_ ,” he whines, barely audible over the wet sound of his fist and the creak of the bed as he squirms and thrusts his hips up.

His body goes taut and his heels dig into the mattress as he comes, warm liquid spurting out across his abdomen and dribbling over his fingers. Everything seems to go fuzzy for a few seconds and he has to swallow a moan that’s building in his throat, the noise instead coming out as a choked gasp.

The heat that has been gathering in his gut seems to spread through every inch of him and he flops back hard onto the sheets. He whimpers, watching the opaque fluid drip down his hand, stilling his movements when it starts to feel over-sensitive.

He’s breathing hard, feeling somehow wired and exhausted all at once, his limbs lax and overly heavy where they lay. Wiping his hand on his shirt with a grimace, he tucks himself back into his trousers. He scrubs his clean hand down his face and feels it come away damp with sweat. He groans and drapes one arm over his eyes as what he just did begins to sink in fully.

“I’m a horrible person,” he mumbles and lets his arm flop back at his side so he can stare at the ceiling. He tries not to think about how he’s going to face the rest of them—especially Caleb—the next morning.


End file.
